I just want to be surrounded by the flesh of a woman, someone like [censored] who I wanted to just fuck like hell, she made me practically drool, when she wore those shorts to work.. instant hard on. I couldn't stop staring. And others like [censored] in my gym class, [censored] or whatever in my gym class, and others who I just want to overpower and engulf myself in them. mmmm I can taste the sweet flesh now... the salty sweat, the animalistic movement... Iccchhh... lieeebe...... fleisccchhhh. Who can I trick into my room first? I can sweep someone off their feet, tell them what they want to hear, be all nice and sweet, and then "fuck em like an animal, feel them from the inside" as Reznor said. Oh... thats something else... that one NIN video I saw, broken or closer or something, the where the guy is kidnapped and tortured like hell... actual hell. I want to do that too. I want to tear a throat out with my own teeth like a pop can. I want to gut someone with my hand, to tear a head off and rip out the heart and lungs from the neck, to stab someone in the gut, shove it up to the heart, and yank the fucking blade out of their rib cage! I want to grab some weak little freshman and just tear them apart like a fucking wolf. Show them who is God. Strangle them, squish their head, bite their temples into the skull, rip off their jaw. Rip off their collar bones, break their arms in half and twist them around, the lovely sounds of bones cracking and flesh ripping, ahh... so much to do and so little chances. -- 11/17/98
"weisses
fleisch"
- perfect
- song
- for
- me
Well folks, today was a very important day in the history of R. Today along with Vodka and someone else who I won't name, we went downtown and purchased the following; a double barrel 12ga. shotgun, a pump action 12ga. shotgun, a 9mm carbine, 250 9mm rounds, 15 12ga slugs, 40 shotgun shells, 2 switchblade knives, and a total of 4 - 10 round clips for the carbine. We....... have.... GUNS! We fucking got em you sons of bitches! HA! HAHAHA! neener! Booga Booga. heh. It's all over now. This capped it off, the point of no return. I have my carbine, shotgun, ammo and knife all in my trunk tonight and they'll stay there till tomorrow... after school you know it's really a shame. I had a lot of fun at that gun show, I would have loved it if you were there Dad. We would have done some major bonding. Would have been great. Oh well. But, alas, I fucked up and told [censored] about my "flask". That really disappoints me. [censored] I know you thought it was good for me... in the long run and all that shit, smart of you to give me a such big raise and then rat me out, you figure it was supposed to cancel each other? God damn flask, that just fucked me over big time. Now you all will be on my ass even more than before about being on track. I'll get around it though, If I have to cheat and lie to everyone then that's fine. THIS is what I am motivated for, THIS is my goal. THIS is what I want to do with my life! you know what's weird, I don't feel like punching through a door because of the flask deal, probably cause..
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